it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Come on in and take your pants off
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