There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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