I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
