i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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