I haven't been this sober since birth.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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