Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
