just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I need water and some morals
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