I am spending my child support on dildos
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
