So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
