Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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