So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
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