Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
