In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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