Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
