i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
