By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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