im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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