toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
