I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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