We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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