I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You pole danced in your parka.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
