the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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