Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
