Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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