Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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