He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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