I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
