Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
