There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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