so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
