On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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