Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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