They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
