i think my tv is drunk
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize