his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
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