You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I deserve this hangover.
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