can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Randomize
