how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
my shit smells like andre
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
God, I missed his penis.
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