Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
drinking out of a sandbucket again
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
