dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
