I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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