Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
