We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I AM VODKA MAN
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
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