new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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