just tell him i said nine months
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
