420 ftw
only if we run a train.
done.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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