my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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