Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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