it's too hot outside to masturbate.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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