He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
